not a whole month

I hope it does not become a whole month before I hear from Ethan again. I know this is how it is. I know this is part of the package. This is our last deployment. I have been through it many times before. You'd think it would get easier and I would get used to it. But it doesn't. There is nothing that can replace that interaction between us.
Its been 3 weeks since I have gotten an email from him. I know they are in a place where they can't get emails out. He'd call me if he could, but that is of course never an option in the world of submarines. The "Silent Service" is what it is called. This of course means there is little to no communication. Any dates about boat movement are strictly prohibited from being talked about in anyway.
Ethan often asks himself why he chose this "Silent Service" as it is so called. It is a life with high amounts of stress and little reward. He does not go to great places around the world. He's seen Hawaii from the periscope, that's "the exciting places" the Navy has taken him to. Sitting in a steel tube for months must be miserable, and I sometimes feel guilty for complaining about missing him. But if I didn't miss him that would be something to worry about!
I know he's miserable down there though. He's probably cold when he sleeps (when he actually gets sleep). He's bored out of his mind I am sure, as they wait for an eternity that if it took out the sub, well we'd all be gone too! And the food... it could be compared to eating like a pet down there. Its not the same food everyday of the week, but each day of the week they are served the same thing. Saturday is apparently pizza night... how exciting, right?
Oh haha, speaking of exciting by the way. The sub took on water. This means that sea water leaked into the sub because a hatch was not tightly closed. The guys apparently think this was exciting because they are so bored. I just think its worrisome. Great, let's think about my husband's sub filling with water and sinking- exciting, right? Oh the life of a submariner. He's bored and missing me, and I am worried and missing him.
So I hope it doesn't become a whole month before I get another email. I have gone a month in deployments past, but its a long time. I hope I hear from him to know he's okay and just to read an "i love you" from him. I know he loves me, but there's nothing like seeing it written. Maybe if I am very lucky I will get an old fashioned hand written letter if they do a mail drop back to us! THAT is the best thing I can get when he's deployed!

"Best of My Life"

So I have fallen victim to the world of blogging! With all the free time I have now, I decided this would be something to help keep myself occupied. My life has done a 180 in the past year or so. I was at the capacity of stress last year, very sick and overall unhappy. I used to wake up almost every single morning and think to myself "I hate my life". And I really did!
As I sit here in Washington I often think of the East Coast and the life I left behind there to begin my new life with my husband. The people and things I love are still there, and I am always welcomed back into open arms when I return, as I go back with open arms. But I have people and things here that I love too. When I moved out here I did so knowing that my whole life was in Maryland, except a very big part of it. That big part is of course my husband, Ethan! Upon moving here after our wedding I did not really know anyone else besides my husband. It was a daunting experience. All I could think was that I was leaving behind everything I ever knew.
What I didn't know was I would meet some wonderful friends in WA! And what I really didn't expect is how quickly we would bond. The other girls (women- yeah I guess I am not just a girl anymore?) are so wonderful! They too are sub wives. I imagined that I would be a lonely navy wife as my submariner deployed, but instead I am often not lonely at all! I am so thankful for the friends that I have met here and the memories we have so far and those yet to come. I should have known- if you're strong enough to endure your spouse being deployed without any communication, you have to be awesome right ;-)
And I just knew it would rain all the time and I would be depressed and just hate it, right? Wrong! Much to my surprise, its really not that bad out here. I have seen of the best views in my life in Washington State. The mountains are like no other and when it is bright and sunny, it is like a postcard. Yes it does rain, but it doesn't get to me like I thought it would. I often think to myself "I am happy and I am okay". To think back a year ago, I was not happy and I was not okay.
This experience that I thought to be so intimidating has actually been one of the best of my life. I have acquired a sense of independence that is invaluable and will help me the rest of my life. The combination of this independence, of living in a new and different place, and of making such good friends and finally being with Ethan (when he's not deployed) makes me realize I am living some of the best days of my life!